....Sometimes you just have to sit back &nd LISTEN
Through the eyes of the beholder the future is clear &nd UNquestionable.
Through MY eyes every thing is cloudy and doubtable.
Through the eyes of a child the world is brand new.
No pain just laughter &nd joy. No judgements or worries. Just pure love &nd smiles.
In MY eyes I know nothing, but what iAm told &nd even w/ peace...iAm no longer whole.
A body w/ no soul...a sun with no warmth.
Cloudy days bring tears of pain, laughter, &nd the past.
A past iCan't seem 2get over no matter how hard iTry to break chains of sadness that hold me.
And iStand in a whirl wind of emotions as they drown me all at once &nd then just as quck as they come fade away.
A fish out of water gasping for air &nd praying for relief to their struggle.
As the fisher man stands over laughing at the pain they are enduring.
This is how iFeel at times, when the darkness in my soul spreads like a mist to my eyes &nd reminds me that nothing ever stays the same.
And all iCan do at this moment is...pray...for enlightment &nd for the dark hole in my heart to close.
To become whole once more &nd aLLow me to give my aLL, even though iKnow in the back of my mind this heart of mine will be shattered into pieces again and again and iWill continue to forgive &nd love like always.
Even when there are days iCan't fathom the thought of needing. loving. being, or holding anyone else but you.
In my mind iKnow iDid all I could in my soul iFeel iShould have done more. Fought harder. Been stronger. But you're only as strong as your body allows you to be.
This is still a two way street. iKeep hoping you'll understand what went wrong.
That you'll change and come back &nd we can work on us. But iKnow it's over.
The past is dead. One too many chances. One too many shattered dreams. One too many broekn hearts &nd clouds of anger over head.
My emotions fall hard on deaf ears &nd hardened mnds. And iStare at the clock &nd see iHave run out of time.
iCan't heLp you best friend....iApoLogize. iAm sorry. i....iThought iKnew how to soLve it...but...
WOrds flow like a drip from the tap. But the pen my hand holds make the words in my mind come like a river on blank paper.
And iSmile for you &nd hold my head up for one more day for you.
For iKnow if you were here today...you'd do the same for me...
iWipe my tears away for all iCan do is keep moving forward &nd stop looking back &nd hoping that what obviously was not meant to last can be whole.
iWill hoLd you down....down here because iKnow you're watching over me up there.
Life is not just what you make it, but how you take it &nd what you know.
-Dedicated &nd in Loving Memory of my first best friend Cierra Lorraine McCall